Description
About the Song
SHAGGING THE BEAST
CATEGORY
Primary Emotion: Emotional Survival
Also Fits: Emotional Abuse, Coercive Control, Domestic Abuse, Psychological Manipulation, Identity Loss, Recovery, Courage, Self-Respect, Personal Growth
Some songs are written because something happened.
Others are written because something keeps happening.
This is one of those songs.
Not everyone who hears Shagging the Beast will have lived inside an abusive relationship. Some people have been fortunate enough never to know what it feels like to measure every word before speaking or to wonder what kind of mood is waiting behind a closed door. I hope they never do.
But millions of people will recognize this song immediately.
They are the people who learned to read facial expressions before saying hello. They know how to tell whether today will be peaceful or explosive before a single word is spoken. They apologize for things that are not their fault because apologizing feels safer than arguing. They slowly stop talking about their own dreams because every conversation somehow turns into another conflict.
Sometimes the relationship is a marriage.
Sometimes it is a parent.
Sometimes it is a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Sometimes it is a boss who rules through fear.
Sometimes it is a friendship where one person always controls the emotional temperature of the room.
The details change.
The feeling does not.
The strange thing about emotional control is that it rarely arrives all at once. It usually grows quietly. One compromise becomes another. One apology becomes another. One piece of yourself gets put aside because keeping the peace feels easier than standing your ground.
Eventually, you stop asking yourself what you want.
You only ask yourself what will prevent the next explosion.
That is where this song lives.
It is written for anyone who has ever sacrificed their own peace trying to protect someone else’s anger.
It is also written for anyone who has finally reached the point where they looked in the mirror and asked themselves one simple question.
“When did I stop being me?”
That question changes everything.
It is often the first step toward getting your life back.
WHAT THIS SONG IS ABOUT
Shagging the Beast is about the quiet cost of survival.
It is about what happens when keeping another person’s emotions under control slowly becomes your full-time job.
The title is intentionally uncomfortable because the experience is uncomfortable.
The beast is not a monster with claws.
The beast is uncontrolled anger.
Manipulation.
Fear.
Emotional intimidation.
Constant unpredictability.
The beast is anything that demands pieces of your identity just so another day can pass without conflict.
Many people outside these situations ask a simple question.
“Why didn’t they just leave?”
The answer is rarely simple.
Sometimes there are children.
Sometimes there is money.
Sometimes there is nowhere to go.
Sometimes years of criticism convince someone they are the problem.
Sometimes fear becomes so normal that it no longer feels like fear.
It just feels like life.
This song follows that journey from survival to awakening.
It begins with someone trying to avoid another argument.
It ends with someone refusing to disappear any longer.
That is not just a change in attitude.
It is the moment a person chooses themselves again.
That moment is frightening.
It is also where healing begins.
THE STORY BEHIND SHAGGING THE BEAST
Every song begins somewhere.
Sometimes it begins with something I lived.
Sometimes it begins with something I witnessed.
Sometimes it begins with stories shared by people who trusted me enough to tell them.
Sometimes it begins with simply paying attention.
This song grew from years of watching how people slowly lose themselves without realizing it.
Not every bruise leaves a mark you can photograph.
Some of the deepest injuries happen where nobody else can see them.
A person’s confidence disappears.
Their laughter becomes quieter.
Their opinions become shorter.
They stop making decisions because someone else always tells them they’re wrong.
Over time, they become strangers to themselves.
That interested me long before I wrote this song.
I have met people who looked perfectly happy from the outside.
Friends admired their relationship.
Neighbours thought everything was wonderful.
Family members believed they had the perfect life.
Then one conversation changed everything.
Behind closed doors, the reality was completely different.
There was no peace.
Only tension.
Only fear.
Only trying to predict which version of another person would come home that day.
That image stayed with me.
It made me think about how exhausting it must be to spend years calculating every sentence before speaking it.
Imagine waking up every morning wondering what kind of day someone else is going to allow you to have.
Imagine becoming so good at avoiding conflict that you forget what your own personality feels like.
That is one of the cruelest parts of emotional abuse.
It doesn’t always demand that you become someone else overnight.
It simply asks you to surrender one small piece of yourself today.
Then another tomorrow.
Then another next week.
Eventually, there is very little left that belongs to you.
That gradual surrender became the foundation of this song.
The title came much later.
I wanted something that instantly made people stop and ask what it meant.
Because once they understood it, they would never forget it.
“Shagging the beast” is a metaphor for constantly feeding something destructive just to survive another day.
You keep giving.
The beast keeps taking.
And somehow it is never enough.
That is exactly how many controlling relationships work.
The more you surrender, the more surrender is expected.
There is never a finish line.
Only another demand.
Another compromise.
Another excuse.
Another piece of yourself left behind.
That realization is what eventually leads to the bridge.
The mirror.
Recognition.
The moment someone finally sees what survival has cost them.
That is where the story changes.
Not because the beast becomes weaker.
Because the person finally becomes stronger.
That is one of the most important messages I wanted this song to leave behind.
Sometimes freedom doesn’t begin with escaping another person.
Sometimes freedom begins the moment you remember who you were before you spent years trying to keep someone else happy.
That is where recovery starts.
Not with revenge.
Not with hatred.
Simply with truth.
The truth that your life belongs to you.
And no one has the right to demand pieces of your soul just so they can feel powerful.
WHY THIS SONG FITS MOITA
If someone asked me what MOITA stands for, I wouldn’t start by talking about guitars, drums, or musical styles.
I’d start by talking about people.
Every song I write begins with people. Some come from experiences I’ve had. Others come from conversations, observations, questions, or moments that stayed with me long after they happened. Sometimes the story is mine. Sometimes it belongs to someone who crossed my path. Sometimes it comes from simply watching life unfold and wondering why people do what they do.
That is why Shagging the Beast belongs in the MOITA catalogue.
This song is about something that often remains hidden because people living through it become experts at hiding it.
Most people know what physical violence looks like.
They can recognize a bruise.
They can see a broken window.
They understand a black eye.
Emotional abuse is different.
There are no photographs that show someone slowly losing confidence.
There is no X-ray that reveals years of manipulation.
No blood test measures how many dreams someone quietly abandoned because they believed they no longer mattered.
Those wounds are real, even though nobody can see them.
Many MOITA songs deal with invisible battles.
Cold explores what happens when love slowly disappears without anyone saying the words out loud.
Did You Ever Love Me asks painful questions after trust has been broken.
Don’t Call Me Crazy speaks about refusing to let other people define your worth.
The Villain and the Hero reminds us that public opinion changes faster than character.
This song naturally joins those conversations.
The battle here is not fought with fists.
It is fought inside someone’s mind.
That is often the hardest battlefield of all.
Another reason this song belongs here is because MOITA has never been about pretending life is simple.
Life is complicated.
People are complicated.
Relationships are complicated.
Sometimes good people stay in bad situations for reasons outsiders cannot understand.
It is easy to judge when you only see the ending.
It is much harder when you understand everything that happened before it.
That is something I always want readers to remember.
We rarely know the full story behind another person’s smile.
Someone may look confident while privately falling apart.
Someone may laugh at work and spend the evening wondering how to avoid another argument at home.
Someone may appear successful while feeling completely trapped.
We should be careful before deciding we know someone else’s life.
That idea runs through many MOITA songs.
It runs through this one as well.
There is another reason I wanted this song to exist.
I wanted people who have lived through emotional abuse to know they are not weak.
Living in survival mode takes incredible strength.
The tragedy is that so much of that strength gets spent protecting someone else’s emotions instead of building your own future.
Imagine what could happen if all that energy were finally turned toward healing.
Toward hope.
Toward rebuilding confidence.
Toward rediscovering joy.
That is the direction this song ultimately points.
It does not deny the pain.
It refuses to let pain have the final word.
The final chorus changes everything because the language changes.
The singer no longer says he is shagging the beast.
He says he was.
That single change marks the moment where identity returns.
Healing often begins with language.
Instead of saying, “This is who I am.”
A person begins saying, “This is what happened to me.”
Those are very different statements.
One accepts defeat.
The other leaves room for recovery.
That is why this song belongs in the MOITA catalogue.
Not because it is dark.
Because it refuses to stay there.
READ THIS FIRST
Before you read these lyrics, I would like you to forget about the title for a moment.
Don’t let it distract you from what this song is really saying.
The title is a metaphor.
The beast is not one particular person.
The beast is anything that slowly convinces you to give away pieces of yourself just to survive another day.
As you read, don’t think only about marriage or dating.
Think about every relationship in life.
Have you ever worked for someone who controlled people through fear?
Have you ever had a friend who always made you feel guilty?
Have you ever known someone whose anger controlled everyone around them?
Have you ever found yourself changing who you were simply to avoid another confrontation?
If you have, some of these words may feel familiar.
If you haven’t, perhaps this song will help you better understand someone who has.
There is another thing I hope you notice.
The story changes.
The beginning is about survival.
The ending is about choice.
That is an important difference.
No matter how long someone has lived in fear, there can still come a day when they decide they have had enough.
Sometimes that decision happens quietly.
Sometimes it takes years.
Sometimes it begins with nothing more than looking into a mirror and no longer recognizing the person staring back.
That moment has changed countless lives.
If this song reminds you of your own story, I hope it also reminds you that recovery is possible.
The beast only wins for as long as we believe it owns us.
It doesn’t.
Now read the lyrics slowly.
Don’t rush them.
Listen for the person hidden inside the words.
You may discover they sound more familiar than you expected.
FULL LYRICS
SHAGGING THE BEAST
Every word I say gets twisted around
Every step I take gets dragged through the ground
The silence feels safer than speaking my mind
I’ve learned to disappear just to buy a little time
The walls all listen when the tension startsI can feel the storm building inside your heartOne wrong move and the fire beginsSo I keep on smiling while the damage sinks in
I know the warning signs
I see them in your eyes
The room grows cold
And another piece of me dies
I’M SHAGGING THE BEAST
JUST TO KEEP THE PEACE
GIVING UP MY SOUL
ONE LITTLE PIECE AT A TIME
I’M SHAGGING THE BEAST
TRYING TO SURVIVE
EVERY DAY I LOSE
A LITTLE MORE OF WHAT’S MINE
I’M WALKING THROUGH THE FIRE
JUST TO STOP THE WAR
BUT EVERY TIME I FEED THE BEAST
IT ONLY WANTS MORE
The right move is wrong
The wrong move is right
The rules keep changing every single night
I never know which version I’ll mee
The one that shows love or the one with teeth
Everybody else sees a different face
They never see the fear that fills this place
Behind closed doors the truth remains
A kingdom built from anger and blame
I hear the thunder roll
Before the lightning strikes
Holding my breath
Just trying to make it through the night
I’M SHAGGING THE BEAST
JUST TO KEEP THE PEACE
GIVING UP MY SOUL
ONE LITTLE PIECE AT A TIME
I’M SHAGGING THE BEAST
TRYING TO SURVIVE
EVERY DAY I LOSE
A LITTLE MORE OF WHAT’S MINE
I’M WALKING THROUGH THE FIRE
JUST TO STOP THE WAR
BUT EVERY TIME I FEED THE BEAST
IT ONLY WANTS MORE
One day the mirror looked back at me
And I barely recognized what I could see
A prisoner hiding behind a disguise
Living a lie just to stay alive
No more feeding the monster
No more carrying the blame
No more surrendering my spirit
To protect somebody’s rage
I WAS SHAGGING THE BEAST
JUST TO KEEP THE PEACE
BUT I’M TAKING BACK MY LIFE
AND EVERYTHING IT STOLE FROM ME
NO MORE FEEDING THE FIRE
NO MORE BENDING MY KNEES
IF YOU NEED CONTROL TO FEEL ALIVE
YOU WON’T FIND IT HERE WITH ME
THE BEAST CAN SCREAM
THE BEAST CAN ROAR
BUT I WON’T BE ITS PRISONER
GOING FORWARD ANYMORE
LYRIC BREAKDOWN
WHAT I LIVED, WHAT I FELT, AND WHY THESE WORDS EXIST
Every song has a few lines that carry the weight of everything else around them.
Sometimes they arrive first.
Sometimes they are the last words written.
Sometimes you don’t realize how important they are until the song is finished.
With Shagging the Beast, almost every section points back to one simple truth.
You cannot spend years giving away pieces of yourself without eventually wondering where they went.
That thought became the foundation of the entire song.
“Every word I say gets twisted around. Every step I take gets dragged through the ground.”
These lines are not about losing an argument.
Everyone argues.
Everyone disagrees.
Healthy relationships survive disagreements because both people are trying to understand each other.
This is something very different.
This is about living with someone who constantly changes the meaning of your words until you begin questioning your own memory.
You say one thing.
They insist you said another.
You explain yourself.
They tell you that you are imagining things.
After enough time, something begins to happen.
You stop trusting your own judgment.
That loss of confidence is one of the most damaging forms of emotional manipulation because it attacks the very thing you rely on to make decisions.
Psychologists often describe this kind of behaviour as gaslighting. It causes people to question their own perception of reality until they begin depending on the other person’s version of events. If this subject is unfamiliar, it is worth learning about because recognizing it is often the first step toward escaping it.
The phrase “every step I take gets dragged through the ground” also speaks to another reality.
Nothing is ever good enough.
Every effort becomes another opportunity for criticism.
Eventually people stop trying because failure feels guaranteed no matter what they do.
That is exactly what emotional control hopes to achieve.
Not loud obedience.
Quiet surrender.
“The silence feels safer than speaking my mind.”
There is something heartbreaking about this line because silence is supposed to bring peace.
Here, silence becomes protection.
When someone starts measuring every sentence before speaking, fear has already entered the relationship.
That fear does not always come from violence.
Sometimes it comes from years of unpredictable reactions.
You begin thinking several conversations ahead.
If I say this, how will they react?
If I ask that question, will tonight become another fight?
If I disagree, what will tomorrow look like?
Those calculations become exhausting.
Eventually many people decide it is simply easier not to speak.
The world becomes quieter.
Not because they have nothing to say.
Because they no longer feel safe saying it.
“I’ve learned to disappear just to buy a little time.”
Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to stop being themselves.
It happens gradually.
A hobby disappears.
Friendships become less frequent.
Laughter becomes quieter.
Opinions remain unspoken.
The person is still physically present.
The personality slowly fades.
That is one of the cruelest consequences of long-term emotional control.
It doesn’t always imprison your body.
It imprisons your identity.
Sometimes people who finally leave these relationships tell an interesting story.
They say they had forgotten what music they liked.
They forgot what restaurants they enjoyed.
They forgot what clothes they preferred.
At first that sounds impossible.
Then you realize how many years they spent making decisions based entirely on someone else’s moods.
They weren’t living their own lives.
They were managing someone else’s.
“The walls all listen when the tension starts.”
Every home has its own atmosphere.
Some feel peaceful the moment you walk through the door.
Others feel heavy before anyone even speaks.
People who have lived in difficult homes often understand this line immediately.
They know the sound of footsteps.
The sound of keys.
The sound of a door closing.
Before a single conversation begins, they already know whether the evening is likely to be calm or chaotic.
That kind of hyperawareness is common among people who have spent years living with unpredictable behaviour.
Their nervous system never truly relaxes.
It stays alert because experience has taught them that danger can arrive without warning.
“I know the warning signs. I see them in your eyes.”
This might be one of the saddest lines in the song.
Imagine becoming so familiar with another person’s anger that you can recognize it before they even speak.
A slight change in expression.
A different tone of voice.
A certain way they close the car door.
A look across the dinner table.
Most people would never notice.
Someone living inside that environment notices immediately.
Their brain has learned to predict danger.
Not because they want to.
Because survival depends on it.
This is why leaving these situations is often far more complicated than outsiders imagine.
The body itself has been trained to live in survival mode.
Even after freedom comes, healing takes time.
People often need to relearn what safety feels like.
“I’m shagging the beast just to keep the peace.”
This is the line that gave the song its identity.
The phrase is deliberately uncomfortable because emotional surrender should make us uncomfortable.
Every time someone sacrifices another piece of themselves simply to avoid conflict, they are feeding the beast.
At first it seems like the easier choice.
Stay quiet.
Give in.
Apologize.
Accept the blame.
Do whatever prevents another explosion.
The problem is that the beast is never satisfied.
Control always demands more tomorrow than it demanded yesterday.
That is why the chorus repeats this idea over and over.
The cycle keeps turning until someone decides to stop feeding it.
“Every day I lose a little more of what’s mine.”
Sometimes people think emotional abuse is about one terrible moment.
In reality it is often about thousands of small moments.
Confidence disappears one conversation at a time.
Self-respect disappears one insult at a time.
Hope disappears one disappointment at a time.
Identity disappears one compromise at a time.
That is why this line matters.
Loss is rarely sudden.
Most of the time it is almost invisible until someone looks back and realizes how much has disappeared.
That realization becomes the turning point of the song.
The mirror no longer reflects the person they remember.
It reflects someone who has spent years surviving instead of living.
That moment is painful.
It is also where recovery begins.
LYRIC BREAKDOWN CONTINUED
“The right move is wrong. The wrong move is right. The rules keep changing every single night.”
These lines describe something that is almost impossible to explain to someone who has never lived through it.
Most relationships have disagreements, but the expectations remain fairly consistent. You know where the boundaries are. You know what is fair. You know what is expected of you.
In a controlling relationship, those rules can change without warning.
Something that was acceptable yesterday becomes unacceptable today.
One day you are criticized for speaking.
The next day you are criticized for staying quiet.
One day you are accused of not caring enough.
The next day you are accused of caring too much.
There is no way to win because winning was never the goal.
Control was.
When people live inside that environment long enough, they stop trying to make the right decision. They simply try to avoid the next explosion.
That is a very different way of living.
“I never know which version I’ll meet. The one that shows love or the one with teeth.”
Most abusive people are not angry every minute of every day.
If they were, very few people would stay.
That is one reason emotional abuse becomes so confusing.
Kindness and cruelty often exist side by side.
After an angry outburst may come an apology.
After days of silence may come affection.
After harsh criticism may come gifts or promises.
Those moments create hope.
People naturally want to believe the loving version is the real one.
They tell themselves things will get better.
They remember happier days.
They convince themselves the difficult times are only temporary.
Sometimes they are.
Sometimes they are not.
This cycle is one reason people remain in unhealthy relationships far longer than outsiders expect. Learning about the cycle of abuse helps explain why leaving is often far more complicated than simply packing a suitcase. Organizations that support survivors, such as the Canadian Centre for Women’s Empowerment and other domestic violence organizations, provide information that helps people recognize these patterns before they become lifelong prisons.
This is what Educational Rock means to me.
Sometimes a song can be the beginning of someone’s education.
Sometimes one lyric encourages someone to learn something that changes their life.
“Everybody else sees a different face. They never see the fear that fills this place.”
That is another painful truth.
Many controlling people protect their public image extremely well.
Friends see charm.
Neighbours see politeness.
Co-workers see confidence.
Family members see generosity.
Then the front door closes.
The performance ends.
The person living inside that house experiences someone completely different.
That makes asking for help even harder.
Who will believe you?
Everyone else thinks they are wonderful.
That question has kept many people trapped for years.
It also reminds us to be careful before judging someone else’s decisions.
We almost never know everything happening behind closed doors.
“One day the mirror looked back at me. And I barely recognized what I could see.”
For me, this is the emotional centre of the song.
It is not about appearance.
It is about identity.
The mirror becomes a symbol of honesty.
You can lie to neighbours.
You can smile for photographs.
You can pretend everything is fine at work.
Eventually there comes a quiet moment when you are alone with yourself.
No audience.
No excuses.
No performance.
Just you.
Sometimes that is the first time a person realizes how much they have changed.
The question becomes unavoidable.
Who am I now?
That question can feel frightening.
It can also become the beginning of a completely different life.
Many people who rebuild after emotional abuse describe recovery as getting to know themselves again. They discover interests they had forgotten, reconnect with family and friends, and slowly rebuild confidence that had been worn away over many years.
Recovery rarely happens overnight.
Neither does losing yourself.
Both are built one day at a time.
“No more feeding the monster. No more carrying the blame.”
These lines are not about revenge.
They are about responsibility.
There is an important difference.
For years the singer accepted responsibility for another person’s behaviour.
If they were angry, it must have been his fault.
If they exploded, perhaps he should have stayed quiet.
If they became cruel, maybe he should have tried harder.
That thinking slowly becomes normal.
The bridge breaks that pattern.
It says something incredibly important.
Someone else’s behaviour belongs to them.
You can be kind.
You can be patient.
You can be understanding.
You cannot control another person’s decision to hurt people.
There comes a point where compassion stops being healthy because it becomes permission.
That is the moment this song reaches.
“No more surrendering my spirit to protect somebody’s rage.”
This may be my favourite line in the entire song.
Notice what is being protected.
Not love.
Not family.
Not hope.
Rage.
The singer finally realizes that every compromise has been protecting anger instead of protecting life.
That realization changes everything.
We all compromise.
Healthy relationships require compromise.
Healthy compromise moves in both directions.
It is built on respect.
This song is not about compromise.
It is about surrender.
Those two things should never be confused.
“I was shagging the beast just to keep the peace. But I’m taking back my life and everything it stole from me.”
One word changes the entire song.
Was.
That word tells us the story is no longer about surviving.
It is about reclaiming.
The damage happened.
The years cannot be returned.
The confidence may need rebuilding.
But the future has changed direction.
Sometimes healing begins with one decision.
Sometimes it begins with one sentence.
Sometimes it begins by saying, “I deserve better than this.”
That sentence has changed countless lives.
“The beast can scream. The beast can roar. But I won’t be its prisoner going forward anymore.”
The beast is still there.
That is important.
The song does not pretend difficult people suddenly change because someone finally stood up to them.
Some will become louder.
Some will become angrier.
Some will try harder to regain control.
The difference is that the singer no longer measures life by the beast’s reactions.
Freedom begins the moment fear is no longer making every decision.
That does not mean the journey is easy.
It means the direction has changed.
Sometimes courage is not found in fighting.
Sometimes courage is found in refusing to surrender one more piece of yourself.
That is the message I hope stays with readers long after the song ends.
WHY THIS MATTERS
Most people will never use the phrase “shagging the beast” in everyday conversation.
I hope they remember what it means.
We all have moments when we give away parts of ourselves to avoid conflict.
Sometimes that is wisdom.
Sometimes it is kindness.
Sometimes it is necessary.
But if those moments become your entire life, something precious begins to disappear.
Your voice.
Your confidence.
Your identity.
No relationship, no job, no friendship, and no position of authority is worth losing yourself.
This song is not asking people to become angry.
It is asking them to remember that their life has value too.
If reading this page helps even one person recognize what has been happening in their own life, or helps one friend better understand what someone they care about is living through, then this song has already done something worthwhile.
CLOSING COMMENTS
Every MOITA song begins with a question.
Sometimes the question belongs to me.
Sometimes it belongs to someone I have met.
Sometimes it belongs to millions of people who have never had the words to describe what they were feeling.
Shagging the Beast is about those people.
It is about the quiet battles that rarely make headlines but change lives every day.
It is about recognizing that survival is not the same as living.
Most importantly, it is about hope.
The final chorus reminds us that no matter how much of yourself you feel you have lost, there is always the possibility of finding your way back.
That journey is never easy.
But it is always worth taking.
Every song I write has a story behind it.
Sometimes that story belongs to me.
Sometimes it belongs to someone else.
Perhaps this time, part of it belongs to you.
MOITA
WHERE EVERY SONG TELLS A STORY
EVERY STORY TEACHES SOMETHING.
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